Man, they sure do like to show you *every waiting room in the hospital* when you come in for a mammogram.
Most important bit first: the radiologist, who was really, really thorough, says it's "probably nothing," but since this is the first mammogram I've had at this hospital, and they have no baseline to compare it to, and since I noticed this lump as a difference from one month to the next, she wants to be extra-super-duper cautious. So, on Thursday morning, someone is going to put a needle in my boob and withdraw some tissue fibers. I'll have a definitive diagnosis 24 hours later.
( My travels through the waiting rooms of the Lynn Sage Comprehensive Breast Center at the Prentice Women's Hospital at Northwestern Memorial Hospital (for them who want to know what all went on )Interlude: Body Modesty: I Lack It.Most medical professionals are extremely conscientious about a patient's body modesty. They are careful to request the absolute minimum body exposure required for any given moment during an exam. I've never had body modesty--not when I was young and slim and fit, not at my heaviest, just... not. I know I'm in the minority, but I've never understood the problem, *especially* in a doctor's office, and *especially especially* in a doctor's office that is devoted solely to The Womanly Bits. I've always been practical about doctors and dentists an the like: do what you have to do, doc--that's why I'm here. Maybe it's that people who spend any amount of time doing live theater lose any and all possible body modesty because, oftentimes, you have forty-three seconds from exit to entrance and you must change into an entirely different costume, which means you cannot get back to the dressing room, so you have to change just offstage, where you try not to elbow the stage manager while attempting to keep your balance in ridiculous period shoes lest you fall into the weighted curtain pulls. You simply cannot give a single fuck about whether your pubes are on display to the stagehands. Or maybe it's just that, since I know the medical professionals stare at breasts all day long, every day, for years, I can't get too worked up about them seeing mine.
Whatever it is, it always surprises doctors and nurses and interns and techs that I'll strip off if I'm having an exam that requires exposing Those Body Parts. My tech today said, "oh, it's okay, you don't have to--" and I said "the gown gets in the way, and doing the whole 'now your right arm out of the sleeve' and 'now your left arm' is fiddly and annoying. Where do you want my boob?"
( Your mammogram and you: the step-by-step explanation. )Now comes the part where they can take pictures by using sound. Duuuuuuuuuude.
( No whooshing noises. I can only assume this means that my breasts are not pregnant. )Updates As Warranted. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's an independent bookshop, a glass of riesling, and a grilled cheese sandwich calling me.
