Dude, don't you know that being a junior professor of Literature is one of the easiest jobs in the world? So, of course, if you can't even manage that, you have to do something even easier, like, I dunno, create the OTW, AO3, FanLore, etc. I mean, that's a job you can do in your sleep, right?

Pfft. The only reason you don't get it is because you're an English professor, which is only *slightly* more difficult a job than a junior professor of Literature (wtf that is).