tzikeh | White Collar 2x12: What Happens in Burma

White Collar 2x12: What Happens in Burma

I gave up on writing an eloquent rant, so the rant under the cut is a bit of a mess. If you don't want my GRAR all over you, then please, don't click.

Here Come The Daddy Issues.

I really, really wanted to write an essay about why this trope angers me--first, why it's such a crappy, sloppy short-cut to real character writing, and second, how women react to it, because we've been exposed to it in tv and movies so often that we've sort of been indoctrinated--but here's the thing. Nothing I write is going to change how fandom thinks, and I know it's my Magical Fantasy that it would, and I'd only be disappointed if I wrote up a thoughtful piece about it, so I just gave up because I'd just get all riled up for nothing, and with no outlet.

Here's an off-the-cuff, not-particularly-well-thought-out version of what the essay might have been.

Approximately 90% of television and movies is written by men (that's low-ball, but it's close enough for government work). Apparently ALL of these writers have Daddy Issues, and it seems that the only way they can come to some kind of terms with them is by writing them into their television shows. Over, and over, and over, and over, and please just get a fucking therapist and stop taking this crappy short-cut instead of doing real work on your male characters.

Think about the male characters on some popular shows.

A short list of characters who have Daddy Issues liek woah:

Burn Notice: Michael Westin.

Leverage: Nate Ford.

The West Wing: Sam, Josh, Toby, Leo, Jed. (Astoundingly, each of them had a DIFFERENT Daddy Issue. Now there's some creativity right there!)

Stargate Atlantis: John Sheppard.

Due South: Benny, Ray.

Hawaii Five-0: Steve McGarrett.

House: House, Chase.

Bones: Booth.

Smallville: Lex Luthor.

Homicide: Tim.

Supernatural: Sam and Dean. Seriously. Do I even need to say it?

Chuck. NCIS. Criminal Minds. Invisible Man. Sports Night (oh, Aaron Sorkin, GET THERAPY).

And on and on and on.

It's like I can already see how much less I'm about to love my show, because once we hear about Daddy Issues, every-fucking-thing else about the character goes out the window, and it's All Daddy-Issue Recovery, All The Time. It's a cheap hook, it's Insta-Sympathy, and it's fucking everywhere. It flattens formerly-three-dimensional characters.

I kind of hate it, if you couldn't tell.

Oh, and? When Mozzie asked Neal if he was going to tell Peter, and then said "Neal, he could be useful--" ...yeah. Operation Find Neal's Daddy, here we come!

Meantime, Neal's ever-shifting morals and ethics have been drained of all of their complexity - his father was a bad man; therefore he is a bad man. He *says* this. All the interesting work Bomer did with Neal's motivations over the past two years is kind of wiped away by this broad, broad brush.

Just. What.

You know what would have been the best thing ever? If Neal had come from a perfectly normal family and become an art forger and con-man ANYWAY. How fucking awesome, creative, and interesting would that have been? I had held out hope (stupid, I know), and it was only the teeeeeeniest hope, but still, that this would be the backstory, because that would have been so original and fun to play with and...

But no.

The second problem I have with it, and this is entirely personal, is how women in fandom respond, like Pavlov's dogs, to this trope. "Ooooh poor widdle $CHARACTER, his daddy was so alcoholic/cruel/violent/absent/judgmental/adulterous; let's write ENDLESS FANFICTION ABOUT HOW IT FUCKED HIM UP AND IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE INTERESTING ABOUT THE CHARACTER."

To be fair, while the Daddy Issue fanfiction brigade will make me unhappy, it's much more about how this is going to play out on the show.

My third complaint is tangential. Since the writers are all men with daddy issues, they assume all women must have mommy issues--and here's how they write them:

Daughter: OMG YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH!
Mother: OMG YOU'RE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT!
Daughter: OMG I HATE YOOOOUUUU!
Mother: OMG WHY DIDN'T YOU TURN OUT LIKE YOUR SISTER WHO IS NOT A CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW BUT IS OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE IMPRESSIVE!
Daughter: I'M A GROWN-UP I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANYMORE!
Mother: YOU ARE SO IMMATURE AND I AM YOUR MOTHER SO I WIN.
Daugher: *fume*
Mother: *haughty expression of haughtiness*

Well, thanks, guys, because yes, that's just how shallow women are.

Note that they never think to ask women about how women relate to their mothers or daughters; they just turn us into cartoons. Because it's FUNNY! Oh, women, ~~why didn't you date me in high school?~~ you're so hormonal!

My head just about exploded when Russell T. Davies (previous showrunner of Doctor Who) was talking in one of the Confidentials about the character Rose Tyler and her mother Jackie Tyler, and how he wrote them, and said something almost exactly like: "Oh, you ladies just keep having cat-fights with your mums, and I'll never run out of material."

Though, I guess, at least he was honest about it.

And I didn't even ADDRESS the racefail.

neifile7 has a much more thoughtful rant than mine here, that includes the racefail as well.

copperbadge has far more gentle grar here, plus some yay to balance it.

Which reminds me:

Peter & Neal banter is always good for a laugh or two, even though some of it felt rather forced this time around. But "jazz hands" is a classic, as is "Mister Satchmo"--plus Peter's rejoinder after he burns Neal's alias: "You named me after my dog." Nice callback to their earlier Indiana Jones references in All In (oh, right, the *other* racefail episode. Sorry; it just occurred to me; didn't mean to bring grar into the yay parts).

Mozzie. There is never anything bad about Mozzie. Now *that* reveal, that he was in the foster system, or adopted, was simple, well done, and interesting. I'm sure they took a cue from Garson having adopted a kid and being a big proponent of adoption (That was his kid he sent as a runner in the flashback episode). "It's a smoking jacket."

Peter coming to help Neal, in the end, after Diana lays it out for him. (More... no, I won't bring any more grar. Let us, as Peter says, savor the moment.) The endless parking ticket bit was classic Peter.

Neal's "Wow," in the conference room as he sinks down in his chair after revealing that he had planned out how to get to the ruby (even if he'd never put the plan into action). That whole bit was very well done by Bomer.

El's preternatural ability to know that no, they're not going to have lunch today.

Peter the Viking! That whole exchange at the beginning, actually, where Peter says he should travel more, and Neal says that he tried to get Peter to go to France, and Peter says, no, you *fled* to France. And the bit about Interpol sending him postcards - "Neal's robbing a castle! Wish you were here!"

And one fun moment for the "yay slash is so easy" part of me: when Neal and Peter are standing outside the Embassy, and Neal gets a text and says that he knows it's a bad time, but he has to go, and Peter says it's all right, he really isn't in the mood anyway... :D

So, that.

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This was my reaction as well, and okay, so in my early 20s I had Daddy Issues so I related to those characters well (notice I said Daddy and not Mummy issues, because you don't see that enough), but it is now such a lazy, lazy way to go. And I would LOVE to see some functional parents on or alluded to on TV, because they must exist, surely? They have to?

As you say, it strips away so many of the complexities and subtleties of a character and is way, way, waaaay overdone.

We get it, they fuck you up, your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do --- NOW GET OVER IT.

notice I said Daddy and not Mummy issues, because you don't see that enough

yeah, that's a whole other rant that would have taken my sideways, but I agree.

If you want to see some functional parents on tv, watch Friday Night Lights. Eric and Tammy Taylor FTW!

If you want to see some functional parents on tv, watch Friday Night Lights. Eric and Tammy Taylor FTW!

I love that it's never "my daddy issues are pastede on yay" in FNL -- those characters with daddy issues have it explored in detail, and it's not their only defining trait, and not everybody handles it the same way -- eg, Matt Saracen vs. Tim Riggins.

This episode is why VCRs and DVRs exist. So we can skip over the terrible parts and just have the few fun moments from it.

I <3 the Viking comment. I don't even know why Peter said it or what is going on but it was hilarious. <---Peter as a viking, El as Freya, Neal as Irish lad. Yes?

Also, Mozzie and Peter interaction ftw. Forget Peter and Neal getting trapped somewhere together; there should be one with Moz and Peter.

Edited 2011-02-03 23:00 (UTC)

Forget Peter and Neal getting trapped somewhere together; there should be one with Moz and Peter.

MAKE THIS HAPPEN NOW.

I'm working out plot details like as we speak. :-D

IT MUST BE WRITTEN.

Thanks for summing up why most of this episode bored the living shit out of me (except for the RaceFail parts that just annoyed me.)

Goodbye, show!

I'm not going to quit watching it (yet); it just won't ever be the same.

I didn't like the flashback episode either - the whole "Kate" thing was pretty much a MacGuffin for me at this point.

I also hate Lost, though. I kind of only care what people do in the here and now. You can suggest the past through present action, but going back and living there leads you to crazy places, like David Boreanaz in terrible wigs.

I hated Lost as well, but I did like the flashback White Collar. Kate... eh... but I think we're mostly past her now.

Ha, and isn't Lost like the ultimate Jack's Daddy Issues show?

I'm grateful to you for reminding me how much I hate this fucking trope (Answer: with a Fiery Passion).

Least favorite Dr. Who episode: Rose + her long-lost Daddy (except for the part where Eccleston is all "YOU ARE STUPID AND YOUR DADDY ISSUES ARE STUPID YOU WRECK EVERYTHING STUPID HUMANS").

I think I hate man-pain just in general. One of the things I enjoy about Matt Smith/Amy Pond (even though Amy is criminally under-written) is that he tried to be mean to her about his sad man-pain in the Starwhale episode, and she was like "Hey, well, I'm not able to read your mind, so quit being mean to me." She does not let him wallow in his man-pain. It's a step forward.

Batman = hate
Spike from Buffy = HATE HATE HATE
David Tennant Doctor - Mostly love, but those specials at the end are fucking atrocious.
James Marsters character on Torchwood = GOD I AM FILLED WITH HATE DIE JAMES MARSTERS
Owen = Wow, what a complete dickweed.
Angel = acceptable because everyone makes fun of it and finds it hilarious.

I love Captain Malcolm Reynolds because while has actual pain and bad memories about the war, we rarely saw him abuse others because of his sad, sad man-pain. He was pretty much "Okay, so what can I DO?"

Yeah, man-pain is a drag. If it weren't omnipresent and so messily executed, I could probably take it from time to time, but it's just sloppy and cheap and exists as a one-stop-shop for "character development" that we lose so much of what might have been, let alone sympathy for the man. If every single male character gets a CALL THE WAAAAHMBULANCE arc, then none of them has any hope of being intriguing, and so just serve to make us roll our eyes.

In art as in life I am on Team Grow The Fuck Up and Handle Your Shit.

All superheroes have 'parent pain', though. Otherwise they wouldn't wear tights.

Batman's parents were murdered, Superman's blew up, Wonder Woman doesn't even HAVE a daddy, etc etc etc. Even my favorite heroes have them. Batwoman was kidnapped with her sister and mom, and was the only survivor and now she will NEVER be a victim again! Must save everyone! The Question's a disowned lesbian vegetarian with survivor's guilt (her words). I can only think of ONE superhero who doesn't come from an OMG! Tragic! background.

Iceman.

In the comics (at least in the ORIGINAL ones) his parents were loving, caring, and wanted the best for him.

The rest either have no parents (dead, murdered, hey-i'm-a-clone!) or are disowned.

Crap. I have an exception to my post and yours.

Green freakin' Lantern.

Hal Jordan has neither daddy issues nor dead parents. AND he has a (crappy looking) movie coming out.

The bastard.

Well -- he has no parental issues, which is why the movie will suck.

Right?

That's how it works in my universe.

The movie will suck because they took a heroic moral compass fearless pilot in love with a genius woman in charge of a company who is also a crack pilot and made him a dumb whore in love with Blake Lively.

But that's a different rant.

And one fun moment for the "yay slash is so easy" part of me: when Neal and Peter are standing outside the Embassy, and Neal gets a text and says that he knows it's a bad time, but he has to go, and Peter says it's all right, he really isn't in the mood anyway... :D

THIS.

Scofflaws are such a moodkill for Peter. Tragic.

Truly.

Except for Neal, of course.

*sigh* Why wasn't our show BETTER on Tuesday? WHY?

And, you know, I used to write really insightful, well-thought-out essays about episodes of tv before. This one just made me so GRAR that I couldn't even put thoughts together in a reasonable order like your post, let alone bring critical lenses to the discussion.

(I have hopes that the Final Four will be mostly awesome, though.)

All the interesting work Bomer did with Neal's motivations over the past two years is kind of wiped away by this broad, broad brush.

I hate when they go this route, it's lazy and it's been done over and over, and they almost always use it as a simplification tool, or an excuse.

So ... basically my head is all 'YES' and 'Oh my god! YES!' and 'ITA!' which is a pretty useless post, but there you have it.

I'm a fan, though not as hard core as tzikeh. Still, after the ep I sat there thinking 'Why did I watch this?' Every TV show I like gets 4 'shit' episodes like that a season before they get tossed off the DVR. It happened already to 'Royal Pains' (the new Fairly Legal got 45 minutes of the first ep before I gagged).

USA is basically the Daddy Issue channel!

Burn Notice (check)
Covert Affairs (... boyfriend issues, but we know NOTHING of the parents yet, except that they're not around)
Fairly Legal (plot is 'Dad died and left me his business' I think)
In Plain Sight (Dad's a criminal)
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Jeff Goldblum's character, as well as Goran)
Psych (BIG CHECK)
Royal Pains (Henry Winkler Check)
White Collar (check)

After that, you get the Westminster Dog Show (which ... is probably daddy issues too if you look hard enough), and then the WWE crap (which if that ISN'T Daddy issues...)

So no, I'm not shocked it happened, but it's on my list of cheap shot character development, most of which I don't repeat aloud since it'll end up with me using a lot of swear words and hitting on VERY sensitive topics in ways that make me appear to be an insensitive bitch. Which I'm not, I just hate when people take the 'easy' road. Bored now.

I'm going to pretend the episode didn't happen. Or that Neil's lying.

I'm going to pretend the episode didn't happen.

I'm just going to overwrite all the bits that suck, like erasing info from a hard drive.

Not much left of this file, alas.

The good thing about Psych is that it works towards dealing with the Daddy Issues, and occasionally Shawn is shown to be a dick who should definitely get over it. I find that the "estranged family members coming together and finding balance and love, YAY" aspect balances out the "daddy issues liek woah" aspect.

re: Fairly Legal - Though she has some issues related to her dad's death they're not the focus of the show and are handled quite well. I wouldn't call them daddy issues in the way all the other ones are.

Ooh, I could totally go for "Neil is lying." Being a con man and all. And of course Mozzie would back him up and run with it.

Thank you. Now, in my world, whatever happens will all be part of some elaborate scheme Neil is constructing for some purpose to be revealed later. (I haven't seen the episode yet, but I hope I can make this work. Yay, fangoggles of denial!)

The West Wing: Sam, Josh, Toby, Leo, Jed. (Astoundingly, each of them had a DIFFERENT Daddy Issue. Now there's some creativity right there!)

Huh. Also Will Bailey, I think. [ponder] Interestingly, Charlie seems not to have Daddy Issues exactly, but is the only way to escape Daddy Issues to ... have no daddy?

Will didn't have Daddy Issues, but Jeremy, Joshua Malina's character on Sports Night, did. (The exact same issue that Sam Seaborn had--how about that? Right down to the number of years of the affair!)

Yeah, the degree to which Sam was Jeremy Redux was pretty impressive. But I'd say Will had Daddy Issues of a slightly lower degree than most of the others; youngest son of blah blah blah, how powerful his father was, though I guess maybe he didn't have all that much anxiety about living up to his dad's expectations and maybe I'm just reaching?

Dan and Casey were both wall-to-wall Daddy Issues, though, speaking of Sports Night. (Isaac may not have been. Is that a pattern? Oh, Aaron Sorkin.)

as soon as Neal said that his mom said his dad was a cop I knew they were going there and I was disappointed. I pretty much ended up checking out for the rest of the show.

I read this with great interest, mostly because, as you know, I am a writer. And I recently started an original trilogy in which the central character is a girl who finds out her absent mother is a fairy princess who is trying to kill her. The hero of the novels is another fairy who never knew his mother, and whose mother also turns out to betray him in the end.

A friend of mine, reading the books, remarked to me that everyone is going to think I have huge mother issues. I've always been very close to my mother and depend on her a great deal, so it was interesting when it was pointed out to me how much mothers were sources of consternation in the original novels. And then I hit upon the idea that it's precisely *because* my mother is such a huge part of my life, that I'm *fascinated* by a life in which a mother is an enemy, so I stick my characters into that situation and let them work through it.

All of which is to say that it could be that the writers have Daddy Issues and are working through them, that could very well be. Or it could be that they *don't,* and are therefore fascinated by them. I don't know, as I was reading your post, that just occurred to me, that writers' motivations are all over the place. And yeah, Daddy Issues are a cheap shortcut, especially in a show like White Collar. But I guess, in a way, if Neal had had an awesome father who was there for him all the time and he *still* became a con man, that's a Daddy Issue dressed in a different cloth, in a way.

Long, rambling comment. I didn't mind the episode, but I totally see what you're saying.

I wrote kind of a response review over at my journal regarding all the dislike about this episode that has been going around.
You and others have been making some really good points, but I just interpreted the character development with Neal differently, so the daddy issues thing didn't bother me so much. If you'd like to read it, check out my journal.It kind of responds to what you said here:
Meantime, Neal's ever-shifting morals and ethics have been drained of all of their complexity - his father was a bad man; therefore he is a bad man. He *says* this. All the interesting work Bomer did with Neal's motivations over the past two years is kind of wiped away by this broad, broad brush.

But even given my point of view of things, I kind of agree with what you said here:
You know what would have been the best thing ever? If Neal had come from a perfectly normal family and become an art forger and con-man ANYWAY. How fucking awesome, creative, and interesting would that have been?

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White Collar 2x12: What Happens in Burma

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