Dude wtf lame weird strange.

I have never been a smoker. I sang professionally for years, I don't have an addictive personality, and I hate the smoke and the smell. During finals week of my senior year of undergrad (1991), I "smoked" one pack of cigarettes, if you can even call it that; I mostly just watched them burn, and flicked the ashes into an ashtray. They were utterly pussy-ass cigarettes, too--Virginia Slims Light Menthol We're-Only-Pretending-To-Be-Cigarettes-You-Complete-Poser. I've never wanted a cigarette since.

Now, sixteen years later, it's grad school finals week, and I want a pack of utterly pussy-ass cigarettes. Of course, I don't have any, so I guess cocoa and Kalhua will have to do. Yummy.

Dear Borrower,

Thank you for selecting XXXX for your student loan.

The enclosed Notice of Guarantee/Disclosure Statement shows the incorrect amount of $99,999 in the "Requested Loan Amount" line. We regret any confusion this error may have caused. XXXX is working with the Guarantor to resolve this problem so that future Notice of Guarantee/Disclosure Statements are correct.

Thank you for your patience and understanding with this matter.

Sincerely,

XXXX

Well, *that* would have been optimistic of me, wouldn't it? I especially love the idea that this misprint might have caused *confusion*. "I can't remember--did I request tuition and expenses, or did I request a down-payment on a small mansion in the north suburbs? Shoot, I know I have the paperwork somewhere...."