That's just... neat!

I've been having thoughts about what America could look like down the road if we had more than two truly viable political parties. We all know that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans has anything resembling true ideological unity among its constituents for even a plurality, let alone a majority, of their policies. It's akin to why we have all those different denominations and separations in Christianity and Judaism (I don't know nearly enough about Islam to know if it has equivalent sub-sections). This has been on my mind these past few days as I've pondered how the Republicans' conservative base would do well to split off from the psycho Jeebus Death Racist 2000 people who have been showing up with their sock monkeys and their lynch-mob epithets. I feel bad for the conservatives who are watching McCain get shouted down by his "supporters" for suggesting that perhaps his opponent isn't Osama bin Laden's more worser eviler twin. (I don't feel bad for McCain; reap your whirlwind, bud.) It would be good to have a Buckleyesque party--a conservative party represented in the media by intelligent people with whom I disagree. I still wouldn't vote for them, but at least I could say "I am against your platform and philosophies" rather than "can someone send those people back to 1860 and let them secede this time?"

I'd also like to see the Dems split into a few different parties, so that we could have the "I'd Run As a Republican Except That I Disagree With Their Stand On Abortion/Taxes/Health Care/Social Security/Choose Your Own Adventure" party, the "We'll Never Get Elected But At Least We Can Finally Run As Full-Out Lefty Liberals This Time" party, and the "Lieberman" party (which would consist of Joe Lieberman, and possibly some of his relations. And his pets. Maybe.).

And let us not forget the "Pie Party", the "Cake Party", the "I'd Run On the Pie Platform Except That I Also Like Cake" party, and its inverse.

And the "Ticky-Box!" party, for which you can always vote no matter who else you're voting for.

All of that is prologue, though, for this. It's always interesting when candidates run for office in this country as Independents. (and yeah, for now I'm ignoring the Whigs and those fun guys). "Independent" is really more of an umbrella term, now, because we've had Green Party, Socialist Party (*waves at Wisconsin*), Libertarian Party, Reform Party (pie charts ftw!), etc.

And now, our newest independent party, born in Tennessee: The NASCAR Party.

How badly do you want to see a campaign where the run-up to the election consists of the nominees driving 160 miles an hour in a circle? How great would the primaries be if they consisted of ongoing qualifying rounds? All of the candidates' cars will have giant labels on them advertising their corporate sponsors donors! If someone says, "Well, the wheels came off that campaign", the guys in the pits could put them back on! Imagine a combined NASCAR/Green ticket -- hybrid stock cars! And if the radical Monster Truck Party is locked out of the debates, it will just, you know, *show up anyway*. YOUR PUNY UNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM WALLS ARE NO MATCH FOR GRAVE DIGGER. (VROOOOM) (CRASH) LET US DISCUSS UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE.

I forsee the beginnings of real change in America. Start your engines!