Laugh? Cry? Write fanfiction?

[tzikeh]

Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build A Gay Bomb.

The socio-political stupidity here is -- I was going to say mind-boggling, but the sad part is that it *isn't* mind-boggling. Still, when the news hands you yet another case of ignorance, homophobia, and "military intelligence", I say: make fanfiction!

I don't have any time or brain at the moment to organize anything, so rather than issuing an official fanfiction challenge, I'll just throw this out there as a fanfiction nudge. Kinda like the difference between "rules" and "guidelines".

If your fandom allows for the characters to in any way, shape, or form have anything to do with the government, the Pentagon, spy work, thievery, skullduggery, scientific research, or any other way you can find into this story -- go for it... oh, what am I thinking. You're fanfiction writers. You can find a path from canon to *anywhere*. BRING FORTH THE GAY BOMB STORIES!

If you've got story ideas but want someone else to write them, go ahead and comment! If you just wanna fuck around for a hundred words or so, feel free to do so in comments as well. If you wanna write a serious kick-ass story, BLESS YOU MY CHILD. And if anyone wants to run with this as a formal challenge? Rock on.

A few prompts already (thanks to amireal and misspamela for screwing around on AIM with me):

SGA
Rodney: "It doesn't WORK that way!"

House
House: "You were exposed to *what* while working on *what*?"

Heroes
Hiro: "There is *another* bomb?"

due South
Fraser: "Ray, this is a serious threat. I don't see how you find it so -- Ray, really, you can stop laughing now."

West Wing
Possibilities are endless

Alias
Again, possibilities are endless

X-Men
And, again....

ETA: from a thread on this topic over at Metafilter: "I've already discovered this so-called bomb. It's called a case of beer."

Comments

[ratcreature]

It's like some ludicrous sex pollen plot device only for RL. And to think one used to mock comics for supervillains turning prison populations gay as a distraction...

[heresluck]

Plus, potential equivalent of "Aliens made them do it!!!" for shows not set in space. Rock on. *g*

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Explains so much about Torchwood ...

[roga.livejournal.com]

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard, although it's weird that CBS are only reporting it now... I googled 'gay bomb' just to confirm this is real, and the BBC article () about the subject is dated January 05.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

Sure, Rodney would be dubious at first, but then he would realize it explains SO MUCH about Sheppard.

Rodney: "Did they hit you with a gay bomb?"

Sheppard: "What?"

Rodney: "The hair, the slouching, the eyes -- if it's the result of some military cockup, they owe you! You could sue them for making you gay!"

Sheppard: "..."

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

::dies::

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry; did you think the American media reported things about the American government in a timely fashion? Silly, silly.

[xanphibian.livejournal.com]

Someone in the government wanted to create SEX POLLEN.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

"I only regret that I have but one cherry to give for my country."

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Somewhere in the dark recesses of some R&D office in the sub-basement of the Pentagon, a fan is laughing her fucking ass off.

[roga.livejournal.com]

Ah, my bad :-)

[lydiabell.livejournal.com]

I'm picturing Eberts giving the briefing at Fish and Game.

Man, if I had *any* time...

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

It's the American Military. Let us say no more.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Does Torchwood work with the Pentagon?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Oh man....

[lydiabell.livejournal.com]

Comics did what now?

[ratcreature]

There is no weird thing comics don't do at one point or another, look here at a page scan another fan helpfully provided for an example.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

"I've already discovered this so-called bomb. It's called a case of beer."

Best. Comment. Ever.

(Think of all the R&D money that could be saved...

[vass]

It's like "aliens made them do it" had a threesome with "don't ask, don't tell" and "woke up gay".

I think I'd feel sorriest for Captain Jack. Such a senseless limiting of options.

Age of Sail fandoms would be beautiful with this.
Temeraire: "Yes, but why are you so sad, Lawrence? Is it very unpleasant? It didn't look unpleasant."

Umm....Yeah

[kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com]

(I started and I couldn't stop...first SGA ever written!:) --- BROKEN INTO TWO PARTS BECAUSE IT'S TOO LONG

John was in that blissful in-between place of not quite sleeping, but not quite being awake. He was warm beneath the covers, the vibrations of Atlantis thrumming at the edge of his consciousness like a welcome friend. No missions scheduled today, no immediate threats to drag him out of bed, just peaceful...

“Your government is so utterly stupid,” Rodney's voice broke into John's thoughts. Grimacing, he cracked open one eye to find Rodney sitting up on his side of the bed, hunched over a laptop.

“What now?” John sighed, shutting his eyes again and hoping that he could just grunt at the appropriate moments and pretend to listen as he did his best to regain unconsciousness.

“They were planning on building a gay bomb. A GAY BOMB, Sheppard. If that isn't the most insanely stupid ideas your crackpot government has come up with, I don't know what is. This surpasses even the Superconducting Super Collider and that's saying alot. I mean, $12 billion to replicate the Big Bang? Do you know how much research I could have done with that kind of cash? But no, let's dig a big tunnel in Texas that's gonna save the world! Idiots.”

It was definitely too early for this. John gave up on the sleep idea and opened his eyes again. “What?”

“Are you even listening to me?” Rodney turned towards John, looking frustrated. “The US Air Force decided to the best weapon of defense was to turn their enemies into sex-crazed homosexuals and all you can say is what?”

“Rodney, I don't even know what you're talking about. And what time is it anyway?”

“Seven. And aren't you going to say anything about this?”

“About what?” John asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

“About...what we've been talking about for the last five minutes! Seriously, did you suffer brain damage last night? You hit your head pretty hard on the wall and I know we were a little preoccupied at the time, but you could have a concussion. Maybe we should get you checked out. Memory loss is a sure sign that...”

“Rodney! I do not have a concussion. I was having a nice, restful morning before you started slamming the guys that sign your paycheck.”

“Yes, paychecks that do me no good in another galaxy! Somehow flashing a few hundreds on M3R-428 is not going to get us anywhere.”

“Rodney,” John sighed. “Either tell me what's got you so worked up or let me go back to sleep. Your choice.”

“This is what!” Rodney shoved the laptop towards John. “Apparently all that time we've been spending on trying to kill the Wraith, we should have just been trying to gay them up!”

“Wow,” John said as he read, “That's pretty dumb.”

“You think?” Rodney's sarcasm couldn't be contained.

Re: Umm....Yeah

[kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com]

John handed the laptop back. “Hey, don't be blaming me. First of all, I never said the guys at the Pentagon had much intelligence. And secondly, you cannot seriously blame me for this considering current situations.”

“Maybe they didn't abandon it. You know how much they lie. Maybe they've been testing it on people.” Rodney's eyes went big. “Maybe they tested it on you. When you were on Earth, you didn't agree to participate in any simulations for the good of your country did you? Something that involved breathing in unknown substances?”

“I am not having this conversation!” John rose from the bed, walking over to grab some clothes before heading to the shower. “And besides,” he said, rummaging through black shirts, “You're the one that worked at Area 51. Maybe you were a guinea pig without knowing it.”

“Oh please,” Rodney scoffed. “I was nowhere near straight when the government got ahold of me. And what are you doing? I thought we could try for round two from last night.”

“Why would you wanna do that?” John yanked out a shirt out and started towards the shower. “You think I like sucking you off because the government made me this way. Thanks for making me feel real special.”

“Sheppard! John!” Rodney called out after him, but he wasn't stopping.

John started the shower and got inside, effectively cutting off McKay's shouts. He was just soaping up when a naked Rodney stepped in to join him.

“I'm sorry I questioned your attraction to my cock,” Rodney said by way of apology, coming nearer to John and plastering himself onto his lover's wet, soapy body. “You're here, you're queer, I'm used to it,” he said, smiling.

“Rodney,” John laughed, “You make me question my sanity sometimes.”

“Sometimes? I question your sanity everyday.”

“This is not helping your case towards getting a replay of last night,” John said, stealing a quick kiss.

“Don't want a replay.” At John's startled gaze, Rodney continued, “We're going for something else now. Turn around.”

John's slow smile lit up his face as he slowly turned his back towards Rodney. And he had to laugh as, just when he felt Rodney's soap-slicked cock gaining entrance, McKay whispered into his ear, “And for the record, your government's still stupid.”

[vass]

More fandoms (I'm just throwing these out into the ether)

M*A*S*H. Dealing with the casualties.

Star Trek. Sulu would have to save the day through his magical powers of already being gay, I think. (Kirk and Spock in this plotbunny were repressed, and are now... occupied. And freaking out. And mind-melding.)

Star Trek TNG: Can you see Picard's face? (I'm trying to repress the image of Riker's expression, for my own sanity.) *snort* I'm now picturing Troi trying to articulate what it is she's sensing.

He-Man. It'd have to be a new bad guy of the week, because I think we may have finally here hit on a plot device too unsubtle for Skeletor. After all, he wouldn't want to say in so many words that his main purpose all along is to have sex with He-Man and then rule Eternia alongside him as his consort.

Re: Umm....Yeah

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I questioned your attraction to my cock

*sporfle*

And for the record, your government's still stupid.

Only Rodney could use this as sex talk.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Probably, they work with everyone else.

I was just about to post "Torchwood: How could you tell?"

[deejay.livejournal.com]

The Wild, Wild West
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: "Just think, Mr. West ... with but one flick of my hand on this lever, I can explode an underground bomb -- that I have carefully planted within the watershed of the White House -- whose toxins will cause such a grand amount of mass gaiety that even your precious President Grant will be prancing about in the streets of Washington D.C. with ... with naught on but ... but rouged cheeks ... a saucy wiglet ... and fancy pantaloons ... by midnight!"

James West: *shackled to the laboratory wall, stares stoically*

Artemus Gordon: *shackled to the laboratory wall, smirks openly*

Dr. Miguelito Loveless: "Oh, my, gentlemen, you are both so ... so utterly unimpressed by this news. How very disappointing.... But ... oh, dear ... I do believe that ... you are both.... Ohhh, of course, I should have noticed this before! Ahhh, Mr. West ... tsk, tsk, tsk ... you and Mr. Gordon appear to be, shall we say ... 'pre-exposed'...."