Believe it or not, my #1 Star Trek movie nit-pick: lens flares.

[tzikeh]

I think this sums up my thoughts on the matter.

NOBODY ON THE BRIDGE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING LASER ZEPPELIN SHOW GOING ON, DUDE, WHAT, YOU NEED THE CREW TO BE ABLE TO SEE THEIR MOTHERFUCKING CONTROL PANELS AND SHIT TO FLY THE SHIP, AND NOT HAVE EPILEPTIC FITS AND GODDAM, YOU THINK THE AUDIENCE WAS ALL "WTF LENS FLARES BAROOOO?" BUT IMAGINE TRYING TO DO YOUR JOB AS A GQMF STARFLEET OFFICER WITH ALL THAT FUCKING DISCO SHIT GOING ON MOTHERFUCK GODDAM SCOTTY NEEDS TO SEND SOMEONE UP TO THE BRIDGE TO FIX THE MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL FLICKERING WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE A LADDER GIMME A FEW MINUTES SHIT SON GET RECESSED LIGHTING OR SOMETHING SHIT

Thank you for your time.

ETA:

Comments

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

And yet, I'm totally waiting for the NEW revamped remastered TOS with MOAR LENS FLARES. :D

[southpaw526.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

*cries*

He did them all *live on set*, so they can't be digitally removed because they weren't digitally added. (Okay, they *could* be, but it would take forfuckingever.)

[unusualmusic.livejournal.com]

*is ded*

[hubbit.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it bothered me also but I figured it was part of the new "look" and complaining wouldn't do any good.

The Enterprise bridge bothered me for other reasons: It's too damn STERILE. EVERYTHING is either transparent, or superclean white-white. You need sunglasses on that bridge, both from the shiny white reflective surfaces and the lens flares.

TOS was a riot of color on the bridge, but that was the era. TNG, DS9 and Voyager were much darker and more muted. I could have lived with those.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Agreed on the production design of the Enterprise, and Spock Prime's ship, too. Sterile, too bright, and very unTrek, to my eyes. Also didn't go with the uniforms at all -- didn't feel, to me, like the same universe as the costumes, hair, etc.

I didn't even notice the lens flares, though. (:

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

THE FUTURE IS FULL OF LENSFLARES, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

*makes note to self to actually macro that when on a computer with photoshop*

lens flares

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I didn't even notice the lens flares, though. (:

I...









Any time there was a scene on the bridge, there were (on average, someone actually downloaded and counted) twenty-seven lens flares. There were lens flares at the bar, on the Romulan ship, on the Kelvin... other settings as well. I think the only time there weren't any lens flares at all were at the Academy and on Vulcan, and I could be wrong about that. You seriously missed them?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

He even gets his own lens flare on his extreme macro.

[luminosity]

*dies*

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeeee, man. Um... now I want to make a LOOK AT THIS FUCKING LENSFLARE macro.

(Basically it would just be your post, but covered with lensflares.)

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

DOOOOOO EEEEEEEET

Re: lens flares

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

there were (on average, someone actually downloaded and counted) twenty-seven lens flares.

I don't know why this makes me *so happy*. But it does. Oh, human beings. <3

[sol-se.livejournal.com]

JJ ABRAMS/LENS FLAIR OTP. I actually liked the lens flairs.*ducks*

edit: haha, flare typo. I actually think lens flair is quite appropriate.

[lanning.livejournal.com]

*is ded from the laffing* Do lens flares count as a kink?

LENS FLAIR!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I like it.

But man, how could you see the movie through all the lens flares?

Re: LENS FLAIR!

[sol-se.livejournal.com]

His lenses have flair, baby.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Do lens flares count as a kink?

Doesn't everything?

Re: lens flares

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I've seen other people mention they missed them, too. I think it just merged into the general fast-paced aesthetic for them. It was just the way that the world looked, during the movie.

I noticed them, but they didn't bother me. I have heard that JJ was amused at how many he'd put in and was possibly planning on toning it down in the next one, if that helps.

[sol-se.livejournal.com]

That would be AMAZING.

Re: lens flares

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I read an interview in which he said he realized "Oh, wow, too many lens flares" at one screening.

[deejay.livejournal.com]

We are going down to Kennedy Space Center next week just to watch the reboot on their GIGORNAMOUS IMAX SCREEN FROM HELL. I figure if we can survive the lens flares enslaught, we can survive pretty much anything else this planet can throw at us.

[lanning.livejournal.com]

THEN BAROOOO WTF THAT IS ONE KINKY GQ MOFO.

*add square to bingo card*

[vickita.livejournal.com]

Hee. This is not the first rant I have seen about the lights. From a purely aesthetic perspective, I liked 'em (I'm a sucker for light, man), but it's probably not an optimal work environment. *g*

Re:

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Bring shades!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love innovative lighting, and they certainly fit the feel of the movie, but I would have liked them much better if there had been, say, 80% fewer. ;)

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

I liked the lens flares. It gave it all a dreamy kind of look that, for me, reduced the otherwise sterile quality of the bridge set.

And anyway, this is Starfleet, which believes that in serious bad motherfuckers-we-are-gonna-DIE situations, the best thing to do is to start a mega-loud siren and flash bright red lights in everyone's eyes while they try desperately to save their lives. Some lens flares are probably a welcome change from all that.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Red Alert = AAAAAAAAA WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Lens Flares = AAAAAAAAA WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IN A HIGHLY ARTISTIC MANNER!

I liked them once in a while, but I would have liked them more if they'd shown up less. And I thought it made sense for the bridge to be sterile-looking--most ships / planes / subs / etc. have very dull bridges on purpose. But these are nit-picks, and cannot dim my love for the movie. (My brother got me $200 worth of movie passes for my birthday. Guess what I'm going to see again soon?)

Re: lens flares

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Oh, see, I think of lens flares as shown in the macro -- the round things that Photoshop will generate for you. (:

These things, yes, they are lens flares, and I did notice them. But I guess I never really objected to them, because I've been vidding Firefly and they're all over Firefly, too. Joss talks in the commentary of one of the eps about how they set up the lighting using practicals and just got glare all over the camera everywhere. He loved it. I love it, too.

Given how bright the new Trek movie is, though, with all that white plastic everywhere, it is perhaps overkill.

[aurora]

I'm actually quite fond of lens flares, but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, JJ!

[amy_vic.livejournal.com]

Your glorious use of capslock makes me laugh and laugh. (Also, I am *clearly* not a Star Trek fangirl*, because I read "laser Zeppelin show" and my brain immediately went, "WHAT? They got Zeppelin shows in SPACE? I'M SO THERE, DUDE." Because I am a giant, classic-rock-loving dork, as you know.)

*Although, I really want to see the movie. Does it make sense to someone who knows nothing about the show/fandom?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Does it make sense to someone who knows nothing about the show/fandom?

You need to know exactly *nothing* to understand the movie 100%, because it starts everything all over again, from even before the first series happened. It's a "genesis" story, like Batman Begins, etc.--a complete reboot that anyone can watch. The only things you won't get are some jokes and references thrown in for long-time fans, but you won't notice that you don't get them, because they aren't plot-centric.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

On the plus side, at least it's more bearable than that MOTHERFUCKING SICK GREENISH NYQUIL FILTER they've put on EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MOVIE FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS. If I see ONE MORE movie that looks like it was shot in an indoor aquatics center, I will hold a small, one-person RIOT. I gladly take lens flares instead.

[ratcreature]

I didn't even notice the lens flares, though. (:

Me neither. But now it becomes clear to me why so many people use them (both ironically and not) in their fanart.

[klia.livejournal.com]

That's fucking hilarious, or at least it is when it's read as sarcasm.

I haven't seen the reboot, and have no plans to ever see it, either, because I think JJA is made of fail.