Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen--Best Movie Ever?

[tzikeh]

Perhaps the greatest movie review of all time.

Critical consensus on Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is overwhelmingly negative. But the critics are wrong. Michael Bay used a squillion dollars and a hundred supercomputers' worth of CG for a brilliant art movie about the illusory nature of plot.

Oh, and I would warn you that there'll be spoilers in this review — except that, really, since I still have no idea what actually happened in this movie, I'm not sure how much I can spoil it.

Since the days of Un Chien Andalou and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, filmmakers have reached beyond meaning. But with this summer's biggest, loudest movie, Michael Bay takes us all the way inside Caligari's cabinet. And once you enter, you can never emerge again. I saw this movie two days ago, and I'm still living inside it. Things are exploding wherever I look, household appliances are trying to kill me, and bizarre racial stereotypes are shouting at me.

It goes on, continuing to be brilliant and painfully hilarious all the way through. Wow. Plus, I'm certain it's more entertaining than the movie.

Comments

[sol-se.livejournal.com]

That was the most amazing movie review I have ever read. I think my favorite line was:

"After a few hours of this assault, you feel the chair melt and the floor of the movie theater becomes an angry mirror into your soul."

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Imagine that you went back in time to the late 1960s and found Terry Gilliam, fresh from doing his weird low-fi collage/animations for Monty Python. You proceeded to inject Gilliam with so many steroids his penis shrank to the size of a hair follicle, and you smushed a dozen tabs of LSD under his tongue. And then you gave him the GDP of a few sub-Saharan countries. Gilliam might have made a movie not unlike this one.

I WANT TO MARRY THIS REVIEWER AND HAVE HER ASSBABIES.

[brak666.livejournal.com]

I thought Transformers was everything a Summer Action Movie should be. Though I could've done without the skanky race issues.

[hubbit.livejournal.com]

The film is ROTF. The review? ROTFL.

(Side note: My mind kept changing it to ROTK. Tricksy Hobbitses.)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

That was ... brilliant.

And the icon pretty much sums up my feelings after watching that movie. I now understand the concept of One Bad Day--as it pertains to One Bad Movie.

[carbonel]

Could one describe that review as a transformative work?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

*smack*