what is this I don't even

[tzikeh]

I have worked hard to keep myself from diving into the SPN Unfunny Business, but what is this I don't even

Warning - it's a post disguised as Pagany-flowy-la-la-land sugar-coating and sprinkles. Under the disguise it says "Blame the victim; police reports or it didn't happen."

But oh, so genteel that anyone who disagrees is just a *brute*.

Comments

[delle.livejournal.com]

I'd applaud you, but apparently I'm too busy flagellating myself with All My Catholic Guilt. (Pagans, as everyone knows, are SO much more tolerant)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

She's on my flist. You can imagine how I feel, especially given what happened to me.

[silveraspen]

Blame the victim; police reports or it didn't happen.

Perfect. summary. Of that utter and disgusting bunch of tripe.

Someday I will be calm again.

Today is not that day.

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

I don't know what's worse about that post--blaming the victims, or using an allegedly woman-friendly religion to blame the victims. Maybe all of the above.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Thank you for being a voice of sanity over there.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd say something about this and I'm glad. I'm far too ragey and triggered.

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

Her whole post seems to be based on faulty information on the circumstances of the abuse. She obviously doesn't understand the concept of abuse. She fails to acknowledge that even if you do everything you can to protect yourself, it doesn't necessarily stop abuse from happening. (Just to be clear, I am by no means suggesting that if a person is perhaps not as cautious as they could be that they in any way deserve to be victimized, or that they should be blamed for abuse committed against their them.)

Also, I realize that as a Pagan she possibly carries some bitterness towards the Catholic faith (or Christianity in general), but her statement on Catholic guilt was also not well-researched.

Basically, what my rambly post is attempting to say is that I disagree with her.

[thecomfychair.livejournal.com]

I am so angry at this point I can't even begin to deal with that post.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the language, but fuck that shit.

[katrimae.livejournal.com]

It's very early and I've no caffeine in me yet. I've been trying to follow her chain of logic but all I'm coming up with so far is "If you're a pagan then you're not not supposed to feel guilty about anything; therefore, if you're a target of sexual assault, it's your own fault for not using your Super Pagan Confidence and saying No loudly enough."

Am I missing something? Would coffee help?

You know, sometimes I feel horribly sad that I've fallen away from fandom. But then I hear about things like this and I get a little less sad.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

I should NOT have clicked on that link. Jeebus, she doesn't even hear herself, does she? She's so busy setting herself above every other woman out there that she can't realize she's covered in shit?

I don't dogpile on the journals of people I don't know, generally, and I won't on this one either-- because I don't see the fucking point. She doesn't hear a thing, but keeps digging further and further in to a position that says what happened to me 20 years ago was MY FAULT.

And, fwiw, she may have spent 20 years in Catholic catechism, but she has a deeply fucked idea of what that means. I'm no longer a Catholic, but at least I didn't leave and become a delusional, victim-blaming bitch.

Off to work.

[bkwyrm.livejournal.com]

I just...WHAT? She's basing this on being PAGAN?
There's so much wrong with that, I don't even know where to start. ARGH.

[latxcvi.livejournal.com]

Perfectly said.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

What the hell is wrong with people? People. Wrong with them. WHAT THE HELL IS.

[reginagiraffe]

As I've said elsewhere...

I don't expect anyone to be perfect or to share 100% of my opinions but it's always reassuring to find out the people you've chosen to be on your friendslist are not, y'know, actual flaming assholes.

Thank you for not being a flaming asshole.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Obviously. Except with women who aren't just like them, living up to the Platonic ideal of their imaginary world. Those there is no tolerance for, oh no.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jesus. That's a level of suck I can't even begin to approach. Are you keeping her on your flist?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah I... no.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

The worst part for me, oddly, is her "Oh, well, dear me, I can see that you're all becoming rather impolite" sweetness-and-light bullshit. <Church Lady>Isn't that SPECCCIIIAL?</Church Lady>

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I'm not the only one. Then again, it's not too difficult to be more sane than she and her supporters.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think being overtired actually helped me, in that instance. Otherwise my comments would have been more RRAAAAR RAGEY RAGE PUNCH YOU IN THE NECK OVER THE INTERNET

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I sense many people are waking up today to some judicious editing of their flists.

[bluerosefairy.livejournal.com]

Thank you for remaining a bastion of sanity, Tz. If I had your "flames on the side of my face" icon, I'd be using it now. Wilson will do.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

The Clue icon is shareable -- nobody seems to know who made it and a bunch of people have it, so feel free.

I *love* your Wilson icon. :D

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I don't know right now. I made a post in my LJ about this that she commented on (it's public, so you can see) and I replied back to and I don't know right now. I'm too emotionally raw to think properly at the moment.

I really don't know. I've know her for a really long time, and... Fuck, I don't know.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I've had my runins with Harm in the past. Somewhere along the line we both unfriended each other, and I don't even remember what was said or done either time. I could never quite follow her ideas. But it made me sad, because we were all in Buffy fandom and at the time, it felt like (mostly) a big happy family. I think there was some kind of plagiarism or copyright hoo-haw that ended up with her being mocked on fandomwank. But it's all kind of hazy. The thing is, no matter how hard I try to follow the logic of my religion teaches personal responsibility, I can't get reach the conclusion of if you had my religion and my sense of personal responsiblity, you'd never be in the situation. I'm boggled. Since when did ANY religion ever give you the tools to not get yourself in a threatening situation with ANYone, male or female?

Brain hurts.

[klia.livejournal.com]

FWIW, certain attitudes and behaviors are deal breakers for me, and hers would fall into that category. And she went and approached a commenter on your LJ offering "help" for her issue? That's what I call deliberately obtuse.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

This may be my favorite bit of info about harmony that has come out of the whole thing--back when Buffy and Angel were airing, there was a discussion about a potential Slayer who had been driven mad. And, as it almost always does, the conversation became "well, if she weren't a slayer, if it were real life, what would happen," and harmony's answer was that there are some mentally ill people who should just be put out of their misery.

No, I'm not kidding.

Here:

coffeeandink: I agree here with Angel's approach -- rescue rather than punishment.

harmonyfb: I doubt someone that damaged can be rescued. Certainly they can't be repaired in any meaningful way. But there's a third option beyond punishment or rescue: release. Put her down as you would a rabid dog, with pity and compassion, and the understanding that sometimes preserving life is inappropriate.

coffeeandink: Do you think paranoid schizophrenics actually ought to be killed instead of hospitalized, or does the addition of Slayer powers make a difference?

harmonyfb: I think that some folks are so broken that the best thing one can do for them is to end their misery, quietly and painlessly.

Yay!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yep, Buffy fandom - and here's an exchange she had with coffeeandink during there run of Angel about a certain episode.

Good times!

[klia.livejournal.com]

Another in a long line of people who wrongly assume everyone is just like them, and if they're not, they have a problem. And I'm including the asshats who started this whole thing back at WinCon '08 who somehow assumed women who were into reading/writing erotic fanfic were sexually active and up for anything, including sex with strangers.

Also? I'm so fucking fed up with men who target women who've been drinking. I saw a show called What Would You Do? over the weekend, and they played out that scenario in a bar with actors and hidden cameras, and at first it was great seeing other bar patrons, male and female, come to the "drunk" female actor's aid, even at times having a tug-of-war with the male actor trying to take her out of the bar. But then, when the only other patrons in the whole place were men, the stuff they said to the male actor when the female actor was in the ladies' room made me want to punch them all in the face -- telling him where to take her for privacy, saying he'd basically won the lottery, and all kinds of sickening stuff.

[klia.livejournal.com]

I can't exactly say I'm surprised, considering her complete lack of empathy for the women in the WinCon situation. She seems to be stuck in hunter-gatherer/only the strong survive mode.

And, you know what? that's kind of the neo-conservative movement all over, too, isn't it? Why should those hardworking white taxpayers have to pay for anyone less fortunate than themselves? Poor woobies.

GAAARRRRRRRRR!