10 Things I Hate About You

[tzikeh]

Now, I piss you off!

1) Mulder? Has never, ever, ever, ever wanted to sleep with Krycek. Ever. Ditto Harry and Draco. Which brings us to #2:

2) Neither Draco nor Krycek is a sweet, kind-hearted soul with good intentions who was all twisted up by evil parents or life circumstances, and who is simply misunderstood by the people who think they're bad guys. You know why? They're bad guys. If you look up "bad guys" in "Dramatic Conflict For Dummies", you will find "pl. n.: guys who are bad. See villain. See also Freud: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

3) If I see slash in certain tv shows/movies/books for certain pairings, that doesn't mean I believe/want to believe that "everyone's gay". Swear to God. There are such things as chemistry and evidence, and they matter.

4) Just because a show thrills you doesn't mean the show is any good. Just because a script moves you doesn't mean it's well-written. Just because an actor's performance engages you doesn't mean the actor is talented. I accept that parts of me are shallow, and I can love a show/performance/script while at the same time acknowledging that it's sub-par work. You should all hone this skill.

5) RPF/RPS/actorslash horrifies me. Not just "eh, I don't get it, whatever" - HORRIFIES. Popslash, LotRPS, all of it. (Aside: This doesn't mean *people who write/read* these things horrify me. I've lived with an LotRPSer, and currently live with a Popslasher.) Which brings us to #6:

6) If you dislike something someone writes or reads or thinks, you don't necessarily dislike that person. And if you can't hold a concept like that in your head, you have more problems than I can help with.

7) Queer theory has taken over slash fandom to the point of being wearying, and I want my fun back. I can wallow in the meta-love as much as anyone else, but dude - just write the stories and enjoy them!

8) Warnings, author's notes, beta thanks, ratings, and anything else which appears before the text of the story other than the title and the author's name? Suck dead weasel cock. I don't want to know what cd you listened to while you wrote the story - because now that is part of my reading of it. My experience of your work should be *my* experience of your work, not *your* experience of it. If you want to include this stuff, put it at the end, or have a link to a separate page for it. After I've read the story, if I want to know that you were inspired by the lyrics to "Polly Wolly Doodle" and a steady diet of Cheez Whiz and pomegranates, I can choose to find that out.

9) If you won't read hetfic just because it's het, you need to step off for a minute and think about people who won't read slash just because it's slash. In particular, think about what those folks think about queer people, and how that makes queer people feel. Now reverse it. Got it? Good.

10) "Squee", "ficcie", "ficlet", "eppie", "vidlet", "plotbunny" and any and all other contributors to the infantilization of fandom are the work of Satan, and if you use them in conversation with me, you will lose cool points. Sorry; that's just how it is.

Hey, the meme says "UNPOPULAR" right there in the title. Why be pansy-assed about it? It's just opinions.

Next post - 10 Things I Love About Fandom (at the moment).

Oh, and - thebratqueen's post, what is slash?, pretty much covers everything I feel about slash and slash fandom, even if I don't agree with all of her pairing examples. ;)

Comments

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

i want to marry #6 and have its babies.

that is all.

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

6) If you dislike something someone writes or reads or thinks, you don't necessarily dislike that person. And if you can't hold a concept like that in your head, you have more problems than I can help with.

I heartily agree with this concept. I wish more people realized that disagreement or a lack of appreciation for someone's work didn't always translate to not liking the person.

[bluster.livejournal.com]

Came across your entry through my friends friends page. What you say may be unpopular, but I have to agree with pretty much all of it. The one that particularly resonates for me is # 5. Sometimes it's good to be reminded that I'm not the only person who has such a problem with RPS.

[eliade.livejournal.com]

8) Warnings, author's notes, beta thanks, ratings, and anything else which appears before the text of the story other than the title and the author's name? Suck dead weasel cock.

I tend to agree. I like a clean entry into a story. I think that's the first time I've seen anyone else mention it as an issue though. Yay! We share at least one brain cell! *g*

[sanj.livejournal.com]

*smooch*

I'd pick out the ones I particularly like from this list, but it's like a good album. I like #2 best. No, wait, #6. Or maybe #8, 9, and 10.

Rock.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I wonder why it took me so long to put voice to that. The creeping pre-boarding to a story that has been going on just took this long to really piss me off, I guess.

Brain cell!

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

Neither Draco nor Krycek is a sweet, kind-hearted soul with good intentions who was all twisted up by evil parents or life circumstances, and who is simply misunderstood by the people who think they're bad guys. You know why? They're bad guys. If you look up "bad guys" in "Dramatic Conflict For Dummies", you will find "pl. n.: guys who are bad. See villain. See also Freud: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Word. And then some.

Did you vote for my brother?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that I'm not the only person who has such a problem with RPS.

Far from it. I think it's because there's so little embracing of #6 that those who dislike RP fiction keep their mouths shut - we don't want our friends to think we don't like them anymore. But there are *lots* of people who don't like it.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I believe #6 is available. You could ask it. It would probably say yes.

[meri-oddities.livejournal.com]

Okay, so there are a surprising number of these that I absolutely agree with, and a couple more I mostly agree with. But you know, #6 and #9 really needed to be said. Thanks.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a tough one. And I don't know that there's an answer for how to combat it.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Well, hey now! I'll have you know that Draco *does so* want to sleep with Krycek!!

Apart from that, good list. *g* (Although I reserve my right to use "squee" with mildly ironic overtones.) I'm particularly fond of #4 (what was that fine old filk about "I'm a Lover of a Lousy Show" or something like that?)

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

I understand what you mean with number 10, though personally, I love "plotbunny". It's kind of silly, but it is the perfect metaphor for what it describes.

[feochadn.livejournal.com]

Yay, you! And may I personally put in a big ole vote for the incredible relevance of #7? So true, I, too, want my fun back.

[sanj.livejournal.com]

I must have your icon. That's just gorgeous.

And I insta-recced you, because "THe Bloody Stare of Mars" made my day. Thank you!

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's actually Lois Lane and Clark Kent at a costume party, which is delightful, if not as delightful as the real thing.

And thanks again! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story!

And finally -- please vote for my brother! (I'm going to be a broken record about this all day, alas.)

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

*smooch* back.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I love you a lot. Not news, but I thought I'd say it again. These rule.

Your #10 made me laugh hard, because "eppie" was my grandfather's name (his surname was Epstein; it became nis nickname in med school and was the only name I ever knew him by). The thought of that word appearing in fannish contexts just cracks me up.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Word. And then some.

Hey, many words from Yahtzee is a good thing. ;) And yes, I voted for your bro!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! How goes the Wing viewing?

[deejay.livejournal.com]

Re: # 3.

Genuflects in the general direction of Chicago for this sageage.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I'll have you know that Draco *does so* want to sleep with Krycek!!

Do not make me come up there and hurt you.

Yeah, I thought briefly of Lover of a Lousy Show while I was writing this. :)

I understand the concept, the mise en scene, the impetus of "squee". I just don't like the word to represent it. Joy, excitement, child-like glee, whatever - but "squee" to me says "fifteen pre-teen girls at a sleepover party taking turns kissing a poster of Leif Garrett". And that I can live without in my day-to-day life.

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting that; I really enjoyed reading it.

Yes, even the parts I don't agree with (I like the word "squee" although not the others) I enjoyed reading.

Because, if we only read things we already agreed with, we wouldn't learn anything. (hmmm maybe that should be #1 on my list)

[batdina.livejournal.com]

For #1 alone, this battle-scarred XF slasher owes you dinner at the next escapade. #10 gets you dessert.

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

:nod:. Everyone's entitled. ;)

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

:) Vote away.

Didja get the TTT discs??

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I love you a lot too.

Oh dear, sorry about the grandfather thing. Heh.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

<sigh> Yeah, I wish people could separate out "I see slash here" from "I see slash *everywhere*". Or that newer fen could understand that being a slash fan doesn't mean you make everything about the gay.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Hey! I look forward to reading your list, then.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

What you said--on most of it.

#8: some lists require all the stuff: title, author, disclaimer, archive permission, etc. I scroll past it 99% of the time. I love the term "Preboarding stuff."


#9: I don't read hetfic because my life is hetfic. With subtext. Why should I read about people having better het sex than me?

#10: Squeeing allows me to be the teeny fangirl I was always too collected to be in my teens. It's about reclaiming my childhood. And I'll continue to have plotbunnies. (The camo one sits right next to my computer)

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. Free food is always good. I should rant more often.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

some lists require all the stuff:

Then being on those lists would annoy me, so I'm not. ;)

#9: I don't read hetfic because my life is hetfic.

That's... fine? You don't have to defend your choices to me. I'm just giving my opinions.

#10: Squeeing allows me to be the teeny fangirl I was always too collected to be in my teens.

See my response to #9. ;)

[destina.livejournal.com]

I agreed with most of your delicious unpopular opinions right up to the bit about the loss of cool points, which no one should really worry about, 'cause cool points are overrated and really not important in the scheme of things.

All these lists of things people hate, all there for the reading...unfortunately, I'm not feeling the desire to read rants much this week, and the memeishness of it has detracted from the fun of seeing people lose their shit in courageously stand-alone manner. 'Tis a pity. I must try to get my ranty pants back on.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

A) It is a bit of a get-out-of-jail-free card, this meme.

B) The cool points are entirely subjective. ;)

C) Now I need a ranty-pants icon.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

I have always loved you, but I especially love you for #4, #10, and #5.

Mwah.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

MWAH yourself! Let us revel in our unpopular opinions. And yeah, #4 is one I've held for a long, long time. Grrrr. It's *okay* to like stuff that isn't socially important or artistically exquisite. Not everything has to be, and you are not somehow devalued as a human being if you like something that's not qualitatively "good" within the rules of what makes a story/performance/production good. And yes, there *are* rules. They can be bent and broken, but they exist. That's how we know there is such a thing as art.

[nomadicwriter]

None of those are remotely unpopular with me, although #8 doesn't bother me unless it's out of control.

And can I offer you a helping of "WORD" so large it's verging on "sentence", "paragraph" and possibly "drabble" to #5? I could not agree more, but it's folks not subscribing to #6 that trips you up every time. I always feel horrible about offending people even when it's unintended (and, frankly, unwarranted) so I tend to think these things and not post them, but... yeah.

Real Person Fic bothers the crap out of me. And I make no distinction in that between NC-17 slash epics or genfic drabbles. It's the "Real Person" aspect that disturbs me, nothing about the writers, story content, or anything else whatsoever. I am extremely perturbed by real people being used as characters. And I'm not going to preach against it or flame people about it or do anything at all except hit the back button on my browser when I meet it, but... I am deeply uncomfortable with it, and that's the way it is.

Sigh. I wish more people would bow down to the inassailable logic of #6. I'd love to be able to post about the things I have no interest in reading and have people just accept it as personal taste. I've never yet had people accuse me of personally attacking them if I say I dislike romance novels, action movies or classical music. Why should the rules change if the interests I don't share happen to be smutfic, a given ship, or overly angsty sagas where the characters are all tortured and humourless and uninteresting to me?

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I've never yet had people accuse me of personally attacking them if I say I dislike romance novels, action movies or classical music. Why should the rules change if the interests I don't share happen to be smutfic, a given ship, or overly angsty sagas where the characters are all tortured and humourless and uninteresting to me?

That's a really good question. The only answer I can find is that the people you're referring to don't *create* classical music, romance novels, or action movies. They do create the stories you don't like, and take is as a personal affront if you don't like their product.

But it's still a good question.

Definitely the bad mood...

[esorlehcar.livejournal.com]

9) If you won't read hetfic just because it's het, you need to step off for a minute and think about people who won't read slash just because it's slash. In particular, think about what those folks think about queer people, and how that makes queer people feel. Now reverse it. Got it? Good.

What I'm getting from this is: People who don't read slash are homophobic, and it therefore follows that people who don't read het are heterophobic. Which strikes me as a massive oversimplification on both points.

But I'm guessing that I'm probably just misunderstanding you - can you clarify?

Re: Definitely the bad mood...

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying people who don't read slash are homophobic, and therefore it follows that people who don't read hetfic are heterophobic.

I'm saying those who *think* that people who don't read slash (simply because it's slash and for no other reason) are homophobic should think about how *they* sound if they say they won't read het (simply because it's het and for no other reason).

Definitely the bad mood...

[esorlehcar.livejournal.com]

Aha. This makes much more sense :-)

[meri-oddities.livejournal.com]

Well, I've only seen a couple more since last we talked. I'm forever hoping for time, of which there is none. :-) Plus the wireless is down at work, so no chatting during the day until it's back up. *sigh*

[barbary-coast.livejournal.com]

I agree with absolutely everything you posted, with this one caveat: Mulder may not have wanted to sleep with Krycek, but I think that Krycek would sleep with anybody including Mulder, if it was to his advantage. In fact, I think that he would even have slept with Mulder just to mess with Mulder's head.

So far as the great het/slash (ha!) brouhaha is concerned, I like any pairing that is logical for the characters. I am far more interested in plot than I am in the supposed sexual subtext in a program or story. As with my real life friends and associates, I really don't much give a damn who is sleeping with whom in fanfic. Honestly, who cares? Stories in which male buddies suddenly discover that they want to boink each other -- and then carry on in detailed to the point of being a textbook on sex passages describing said boinkage -- bore me to tears. Likewise, het sex stories also bore me.

I think that RPF/RPS/actorfic is vile, creepy, and incredibly disrespectful.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

((surfing in from someone else's friendslist -- pardon the intrusion))

I think that he would even have slept with Mulder just to mess with Mulder's head

Heh.

RPF/RPS/actorslash horrifies me. Not just "eh, I don't get it, whatever" - HORRIFIES

((cries)) Finally! I am not alone! I deludedly pride myself on being pretty bohemian and open-minded. But the first time I heard about RPS I thought it was a joke, and then....man. And yeah, I don't want to say something like "Your RPS story made me think of Gimli/Gandalf slash with hope and longing" to someone I like, so I'm thinking of adopting some variation of #6 in self-defense.

Thanks!

moi