tzikeh

Found this document on my laptop from last year's MediaWest - I,

whatssnoo, Dorinda, and Wa riffed on "ho-yay" in our room and I jotted them all down. Thought I'd share a few with you all….

If the characters get drunk on wine before they fuck, that’s Bordeaux-yay. But if they drink liqueur instead, it’s Cointreau-yay.

If you enjoy Three Stooges slash, then you like Larry-Curly-and-Moe-yay! But if you read Mod Squad slash, then you're into 'fro-yay.

Slash that involves a skiing vacation is snow-yay. If they go caroling, you have *Let-It-Snow*-yay. In Vermont -- Stowe-yay, and in Switzerland -- chateau-yay. (If Santa gets involved, that's ho-ho-ho-yay.)

If mediocre stories turn you on, that's so-so-yay - but if *really bad* stories do it for you, then you're into tell-don't-show-yay.

Latin slash is Ergo-yay, slash in haiku is Li Po-yay, and existential slash is Huis-Clos-yay.

An AU set in a 19th century French farce is Feydeau-yay, while one set in the Roaring Twenties is Vodeo-do-yay. Your characters are on pirate ship? Yo-ho-ho-yay.

Slash in a western is Whoa!-yay. Vampire slash is type-o-yay. Dwarf slash is Hi-Ho-yay. Alien abduction slash -- UFO-yay.

Roots slash is Jim Crow-yay. Simpsons slash is D'oh!-yay.

Enemy slash is foe-yay. Invisible Man enemy slash is Arnaud-yay.

If the characters take turns having orgasms, that’s quid-pro-quo-yay. But if they wake up in bed and can't believe they had sex, it's Oh No-yay!

If it's any-two-guys slash, it's Joe Schmo-yay. Or, possibly, Who?-yay.

If you like rent-boy stories, it's pro-yay. If you like rape stories, that’s no-means-no-yay.

Sex in bullet time is slo-mo-yay, and sex after the apocalypse is glow-yay.

If an author writes the same story again and again it's status quo-yay - and if that story never improves, then you’ve got plateau-yay. If the writer feminizes all the characters it’s can't-throw-yay, and if the story just goes on and on and nothing ever happens, well then, my friend, you're trapped in Waiting-for-Godot-yay.