The Fun of Harper's Index

[tzikeh]

To entertain and inform you all, I present the first and the last entries from this month's Harper's Index:

Chance that an ACLU member has joined the group since George W. Bush became president: 1 in 2.

That's right - the membership of the ACLU *doubled* since Dubya took office. Think about that. A 100% increase in membership, in 2 years, of a group that has existed since 1920.

And now that I've restored your faith in the American's ability to think, I rip it apart again with the other statistic I promised you:

Rank shared by Jesus Christ and Bill Clinton among "the greatest Americans of all time," according to Americans: 13

Yes. You read that correctly. On the list of the greatest Americans of all time, Bill Clinton is tied with Jesus.

Laugh? Cry? Who can say, really.

Comments

[lanchid.livejournal.com]

Laugh.

'Cause I've worked retail, and seen the American public in all its glory and dren. And I can honestly say, neither stat surprised me.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I dunno - I'd like to laugh, but the thought that any significant number of Americans think Jesus was American?

Not exactly a chuckle-fest.

[merryish.livejournal.com]

Yes. You read that correctly. On the list of the greatest Americans of all time, Bill Clinton is tied with Jesus.

Yeah? And? What are you tryin' to say, huh? HUH?!

:: runs away ::

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

:: runs away ::
You can run from me, you can run from Bill Clinton, but you can't run from Jesus. So far as I know, anyway. Maybe you can.

Maybe Bill Clinton and Jesus can have a sack race to break the tie.

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Maybe Bill Clinton and Jesus can have a sack race to break the tie.

For that I'd pay money. Them as partners in a three-legged race against any other current or former world leader and diety combination? I'd pay double. Against Saddam with Satan from the South Park movie, triple.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

a three-legged race against any other current or former world leader and diety combination?

I can see it now - the Former World Leader and Diety Picnic. Tug of War! Watermelon and barbecue! And watch Stalin and Shiva run really carefully while carrying eggs in spoons!

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Idi Amin and Buddha win the water balloon toss! Maggie Thatcher and Ra go head to head in the hot dog eating contest! Good times.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Jesus was American?

::is puzzled::

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Jesus was American?

Well, enough Americans believe so to rank him tied with Clinton in the "greatest Americans" list. - Hence the "cry" part of "Laugh? Cry?"

It all puts me in mind of that clip of film from the late fifties (early sixties?) of the Stereotypical Middle American Male who, when asked about mandatory foreign language classes in the schools, replied "English was good enough for Jesus and it's good enough for me."

[amilyn.livejournal.com]

Well, enough Americans believe so to rank him tied with Clinton in the "greatest Americans" list.

Perhaps they meant, you know, in spirit, symbolically, or something (the socialist part aside...).

"English was good enough for Jesus and it's good enough for me."

Well, you know, you have to pray, "We thank you, immortal God, for the bounty with which thou has blessed us and ours..." (...This from people who wouldn't know how to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition if you pay them.) That's the only language God understands, you know. (This according to a child in the church group in which I was raised, where many people for years regarded the King James translation as the Only Right and True Bible.)

And let's not forget about gems like:

"You speak such beautiful English, but you have an accent. Where are you from?"
"England."
"Cool. How long did you have to study to speak English so well?"

"Wow...you're from New Mexico? How long did you have to study English to learn to speak it?"

"There is no Virginia, only West Virginia."

[at a post office, in the line in front of maureenwynn]
"Ma'am, you've got the name of the country spelled wrong."
"But I am sending this to my family."
"Yes, but the name of the country is missing letters."
"They live in Austria."
"But you're missing the L. It's spelled A-U-S-T-R-A-L-I-A."

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Jesus was American?

Well, enough Americans believe so to rank him tied with Clinton in the "greatest Americans" list. - Hence the "cry" part of "Laugh? Cry?"

I fear for the future of my country. More and more every day.