Buh-BYE!

[tzikeh]

For those who are new to the story, my direct superior was let go in February, and a decision was made to restructure the position and hire someone with entirely different qualifications. Fair enough - but instead of putting out a job description and finding someone *first*, the company fired my superior and then started the job hunt.

The job they restructured the position into was not going to be able to be filled by a mortal being - at least not at the salary they were offering. They wanted a manager, a back-end coder, and a front-end designer. All in one. And they weren't willing to pay much for it. They were asking for three discrete people in one, for a salary that was maybe one-quarter what you could expect to pay for someone of that caliber (who may or may not exist). My manager *begged* for the board to allow her to create at least two positions, rather than one, if she couldn't get three. They wouldn't even give her enough money to really pay the salary for *one*. So the hunt went on, and on, and on, and I continued to maintain the entire website by myself. Ten-hour days turned into twelve-hour days turned into working on weekends ...

Then in April, my grandmother died. We discovered that there was some money left for me. I decided that, with this money, I would quit my job, take a few months off, look at grad schools, regroup, etc. But the money wasn't immediately forthcoming, so I had to hang on for a bit. I figured I could do that.

Right around that time, we had had a round of finalists for the position meet with me so I could evaluate them on actual web skills, both front- and back-end. My manager had finally reconciled herself to not getting everything she wanted in one candidate, and had looked for the best comprimises she could make in each candidate. After much back-and-forth, they offered the job to the one I liked the least. Once he heard the salary, though, he told them exactly what I'd told them, exactly what my manager had told the board - you're joking. Never. Going. To. Happen.

So my manager went back to the board and grovelled to up the salary. After several weeks, they gave a paltry increase. She went back to the candidate. He still said, ha. Ha. Ha.

And so, on to another round of interviews. Now it's May, and now it's June. I see another four candidates. None is truly outstanding (of course, that didn't seem to matter in the last round, either). My manager starts thinking about going *back* to the candidate that turned us down *twice*. I was like, not only is that embarrassing, but if we're going to get even more money for this salary, we should look for someone *better*. Was I listened to? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Now it's July. I have been holding down the fort, by myself, on a major website / weekly subscription-based newsletter / online-pledge-dependent radio and tv station / message board for six months. A tip to any of you who might go into management? If you're going to entirely rejigger a department and hire in someone new, get that lined up *before* you let go of the only people who can actually maintain the workload.

We have a third round of interviews. I think these are some decent candidates for our comprimised idea of what we can get, though again, none is really a stand-out. As one would imagine, some are stronger in business, some in code, and some in design. I start to think I should tell them I'm going to leave; that way, they can think about hiring one who is strong in one direction for the first, and one who is strong in another direction to fill my spot. Around and around and around the interviewing goes.

Here comes August, and VividCon, and the money from the estate comes through. I figure, ok, I'll get VividCon done, and when I come back to work, I'll give two weeks' notice. I start to prepare how I will present it - this way, they don't have to comprimise, they can completely reconfigure with me out of the picture, fresh start, they can shuffle salaries around, etc.

Three days before VividCon, they make an offer to THE SAME FREAKING GUY THEY'D GONE BACK TO BEFORE. Apparently, my manager had gone back to the Board and begged for even more money, to get a middling guy who doesn't really excel at ANYTHING. This is when I start to freak out. I should *tell* them, *now*, that I'm quitting. Let them rescind the offer before he signs. I feel terrible. I'm not ready to give my notice, I'm hip-deep in VividCon, I'm freaking out. But I feel like it's my moral obligation to let them know that things are going to change radically, because I *know* that it would alter the hiring decision.

I am reminded by many, many friends how *little* notice and consideration they gave me since February.

I wander off to VividCon.

Now, this sounds awful, I know. I truly was torn up and emotional about it. It is not my manager's fault that this happened; it's the board's; I felt rotten for her. It's the company politics. But... it's business. And while my concern for the company, in the abstract, is nice, I am so weary and disgusted and burned out by the entire thing that I wasn't going to make *myself* nuts by giving notice before I was mentally prepared simply because they repeatedly fucked up.

Yay VividCon!

The day after my VividCon vacation days, I simply did not go into work. I called in. What were they going to do, FIRE ME? (Yes, I crack me up.) I spent the day preparing myself to give notice, and resting up from the con. The next morning, when I came in, nervous, and with resignation letter in hand, I discovered my manager was not in her office. She was in the conference room, putting up decorations for *another* member of the department who had given notice two weeks previously (it was his last day). I had no idea. You can imagine how I felt.

But - that's how that goes. I let her enjoy the farewell party, I ate donuts, I did my work, and when enough time from the festivities had passed, I went into her office, and said, "I'm so sorry about the timing, but I am giving you my two-weeks' notice."

She LAUGHED. In my FACE.

I am not making this up. She sat behind her desk and laughed. I again said, I am so so sorry, and she said "Oh, at this point? I am *numb*. Bring it on. It's fine. But NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE." She started pounding on her desk with her fist. "NO ONE."

I apologized again, and walked out of her office.

So, September 1st is my last day with the company I originally loved and adored to work at. After that? Who knows. Yoga, travel, vids, grad school, music. I'm going to take a cleansing break, and then start the rest of my life.

In the meantime, I have to concentrate on actually *caring* about my work for the next week-and-a-half, and clearing out all my chat logs and web caches. Whee.

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