Terrorist Panini

When I handed over my boarding pass and driver's license to get on the plane to New Jersey for the holiday, the flight attendant discovered that my license had expired 18 months ago.

I never have reason to look at the expiration date on my driver's license; I just wait for the note to come that it's time to renew, I go down to the DMV, and I take care of it. Never got any kind of notification this time. Very odd.

But - here's the good part. Since I was travelling with expired ID, I got pulled out of line, surrounded by security, had to put all my belongings and my winter coat on a long table, and got to do the "put your arms in the air and spread your legs" thing so they could wave their magic wand all over me. I'm thinking fine, no problem, and once I'm told I can put my arms down, I reach for the paper bag from Starbucks which contains the mozzarella and pesto panini which will serve as my meal on the plane (I'm sorry; I appreciate the security as much as anyone, but logic has been tossed out the window when they don't serve meals because plastic cutlery might be used as a weapon.).

"Ma'am, do not take anything off the table."

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just my sandwich."

"Step away from the sandwich, ma'am."

I stepped away from the sandwich.