Well-tempered sentences; also Angelina Jolie

[tzikeh]

This is from The New Yorker's current review of "A Mighty Heart", the film about Mariane and Daniel Pearl. The article is written by Anthony Lane who is, if not one of our current heroes of the written word, at least on his way there. I love the way he writes like I love a box of highest-quality chocolates, or a surprising triad in a piece of three-part harmony.

How do you solve a problem like Angelina? Ms. Jolie is now more of a brand than a person, and she comes in six flavors:

1. The celebrity. Angelina Jolie is so famous that when she looks in the mirror her reflection asks for an autograph. The only publication in this country yet to feature her on its cover is The American Numismatic Magazine, and even that will change the moment she bends down to pick up a nickel.

2. The sexpot. In this she is unchallenged, and yet her timing is off by fifty years. When it comes to channeling her carnal appeal, no current film director has a clue; the guy she needs is Frank Tashlin, who guided Jayne Mansfield through “The Girl Can’t Help It” (1956) and “Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?” (1957), and whose eyeballs, if confronted with Jolie in the flesh, would pop out on cartoon springs and bob around.

3. The Brad handler. She took one look at the world’s most widely desired man and scooped him up with no more ado than a Parisian grande dame tucking a Chihuahua into her clutch bag.

4. The mother. Official estimates as to how many children Jolie now possesses, and from how many continents, change on a weekly basis. When not giving birth herself, she likes to order in. How this has affected Mr. Pitt is unclear, but his expression is sometimes that of a man who stepped out to hail a cab and got run over by a fleet of trucks.

5. The world saver. Jolie is a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her father, Jon Voight, told the Biography Channel that “she’s developed into one of our great humanitarians.” This was clearly on the minds of political leaders when they met Jolie at a summit of the World Economic Forum in Davos two years ago. Half of them offered their entire foreign-aid budget for a chance to fetch her a mai tai.

6. Oh yes, the actress. This last talent, so often neglected, is displayed in her new film, “A Mighty Heart,” and without it the legend of Angelina Jolie would be little more than a vaporous joke.

I've seen the trailer from this movie as well as several lengthy clips, and Jolie's performance is terrific. I remember all of the interviews with Mariane Pearl during that awful period, and Jolie absolutely nails the role. Our celebrity-obsessed culture is a detriment to high-profile actors in so many ways, and it does Jolie no favors here, which is an artistic tragedy. She is so famous that hardly anyone appreciates what a good actress she is. She would disappear into this role, but we won't let her.

Comments

[reginagiraffe]

I just saw her in The Good Sheppard on DVD. I thought the movie itself was rather boring and too long, but her performance was quite good.

And "She took one look at the world’s most widely desired man and scooped him up with no more ado than a Parisian grande dame tucking a Chihuahua into her clutch bag." makes me giddy with laughter.

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

God, this is so very, very spot-on. I honestly cannot imagine getting through a day in that woman's life.

How this has affected Mr. Pitt is unclear, but his expression is sometimes that of a man who stepped out to hail a cab and got run over by a fleet of trucks.

And this KILLED me.

[falzalot.livejournal.com]

oh, what a great article. :-> You're right - this guy's almost as good as chocolate!

[tv-elf.livejournal.com]

::giggle snerk:: Poor Brad had no clue...

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

I adore Lane. His review of Episode Three made me giggle for days, and I saved it for quite a while.

Jolie is one of the actors that I am compelled to watch. She absolutely owns the screen. I remember that Girl, Interrupted was supposed to be Winona Ryder's vehicle, and she ended up looking wan and sounding whiny next to the AJ force-of-nature.