World War One is AWESOME!

[tzikeh]

Submitted to the fabulous history prof:

How did the United States get invovled in World War One?

Woodrow Wilson was on crack.

Okay, okay, slightly more than that.

WWI starts with Franz Ferdinand getting shot by some dude who meant to kill some other dude, which gives all of Europe an excuse to declare war on, well, all of Europe, which they were just dying to do anyway. The U.S.'s attitude toward this was "Okay, then!" President Wilson officially declared "neutrality". I don't think that word means what he thought it meant.

Unfortunately, the war makes it very difficult for the U.S. to carry out international trade—since we're "neutral", we can't offer goods or services to anyone involved in the war. This is where Wilson's definition of "neutrality" gets dicey, because he continues to allow American trade with Britain and France. So apparently "neutrality" means "we are neutral except for the part where we trade with Britain and France. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it." Since we are sending ships over to help Britain and France, Germany sees any of our ships (quite rightly, too) as legitimate war targets, especially since we're shipping things that go boom. Germany issues advertisements that they're going to sink our ships; the German consulate in New York City actually bought ads in the papers that said "ACHTUNG WE ARE GOING TO SINK THE LUSITANIA PAY ATTENTION DO NOT GET ON THE LUSITANIA WE ARE GOING TO SINK IT OOOOO YOU MAKE US SO MAD! DOUBLE-ACHTUNG!"

Naturally, Wilson, being a modest, thoughtful, contemplative man, sends the Lusitania toward Europe. Shockingly, it does not quite get there. This is denounced far and wide as a horrific German atrocity, and the British propaganda machine proclaims, among other things, "Germans are crucifying kittens on Church doors in Belgium!" I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Ah, the Brits. They may not have the finest cuisine in the world, but they are certainly masters of the rousing turn of phrase.

Once the Lusitania is sunk, the citizens of the U.S. who were previously on the side of "Okay, then!" have flipped over to "Uh, I don't think so," and there is a massive movement to get involved in the war.

The Germans come up with a cunning plan. They figure if they can get Mexico to go to war with the U.S., we won't be able to go to war in Europe. The Germans decide to tell Mexico that, once Germany wins the war, they'll get the U.S. to give back all the land we won during the Mexican-American War. Unfortunately for Germany, the Brits intercept the cable containing the cunning plan. They then release it to the American press. U.S. citizens, who had only recently flipped over to "Uh, I don't think so," have changed slogans once again: "WE ARE GOING TO EUROPE RIGHT THE HELL NOW." Germany, who hasn't considered us neutral for some time, gets the German consulate in New York to recruit German-Americans who are sympathetic to the cause to blow up munitions factories in New Jersey. Bad move. Wilson, hemmed in on all sides, throws up his hands and says "Oh, fine, war, whatever."

And that's how we got into World War One. The end.

Comments

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

If history class in high school had been half this entertaining, I'd have stayed awake.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

He lets me write anything, so long as I get the point across. I adore him.

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

I can't help but think that putting together a book of people summarizing history like this would help kids get into history more. It could be like cleolinda with her fifteen minute movie summaries!

Anyway, if you ever get hard up for cash enough, there really could be something there. *g*

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Didn't Jon Stewart already do this? ;)

[sanj.livejournal.com]

Mostly just with civics, though -- I'd love to read Important Turning Points in History done this way....

[delle.livejournal.com]

This is where Truman's definition of "neutrality" gets dicey, because he continues to allow American trade with Britain and France.

Did you mean Wilson?

And this is a SPECTACULAR recap!

Now I want to start singing "Over There"...

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Whoops! GREAT catch -- I'll edit and resend!

[delle.livejournal.com]

we's aims to please! and I still think this essay rocks!

[klia.livejournal.com]

Naturally, Wilson, being a modest, thoughtful, contemplative man, sends the Lusitania toward Europe.

Though, it's not like Wilson made any decisions about Lusitania's comings and goings, since she was a British ship, and not under his control.

P.S. I've been reading a lot about the Lafayette Escadrille and other WWI American airmen. Fascinating, frustrating, heartbreaking stuff. Nine million people died, and then everything just... ended one day, 11/11/18 @ 11am. It's difficult to grasp the enormity of it all.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

since she was a British ship

Yes, but the American State Department, by Wilson's command, prevented all of the warning advertisements from running in the papers. This ensured that the ship would be full of American citizens. The Germans didn't want America to enter the war, and they did everything they could to ensure that no American citizens would be harmed.

[klia.livejournal.com]

I guess it depends on which source you read; my understanding from what I've read is that the warning was published the day of the return sailing, the passengers were well aware of it, and considered it an idle threat (only one person decided not to sail).

[litalex.livejournal.com]

I was never taught this during history in high school. *Never*. Dammit, I've been missing out!

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Americans, in general, don't get much of the history of World War One. There aren't any Nazis in it, so it's not all that exciting, nor is it clear-cut, which we all know is the only way Americans like to get their information.

[ratcreature]

Americans, in general, don't get much of the history of World War One.

Seriously? Here I spent a full half year on WWI (including its buildup and consequences though) in high school, and that's not counting the extra coverage we got in other classes of the Balkans-- fun times to have a bunch of your classmates at each other's throats over the accurate representation of Balkan history, because hey, there's civil war with "ethnic cleansings" going on and all the people who used to be "Yugoslavian" immigrants in your year now are suddenly from lots of different countries and are in favor of supporting different militias complete with stories how they visited the place in their summer vacation. It illustrated vividly to everyone though that history you are presented with is rarely "objective", less so in the typical high school history book summary style. Anyway, we did a shorter overview in grade 10, and then the people who decided to continue with history through years 11-13 got the long version as one of the focus topics. In earlier grades we did history mostly based on just a single history book overview and didn't get to see much in the way of sources or different interpretations, just brief excerpts that were sure to prove the point the book was making, but in the later grades just a couple of topics were chosen to be looked at again and it was a more indepth project thing with reading a wider selection of sources from a time.

[litalex.livejournal.com]

glad to know we haven't changed a single bit in 90 years.

[furies.livejournal.com]

man. that was a lot more concise and entertaining to read than my 15 page paper on wilson's decision to go to war . . . dude, that man has a LOT of correspondence that i had to read! (i only looked at three out of something like 25 volumes.)

sigh. poor wilson. poor, dumb, overeducated wilson.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, overeducated and therefore believed he knew better than *everyone else*.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I see your "entry to WWI", and I raise you "the assassination of Czar Alexander II".

http://leaper182.livejournal.com/218637.html

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

You rock, your teacher rocks, and I'm starting to think history rocks, too.

Nifty!

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

OMG. I only know you in LJ and in the fandom zeitgeist but your icon has made me fall head over heels in love with you and I am officially offering to bear your children, make you dinner, clean your house, and send you chocolate. Or.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

BEHOLD THE POWER OF MUSICAL THEATER, THE BEGINNINGS OF THE BIG-GOVERNMENT VS. SMALL-GOVERNMENT ARGUMENT, AND HUMOROUSLY IMPLIED SLASH IN HISTORIACAL FICTION!

And I'll have the chocolate, please.