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tzikehTell me lies, tell me sweet little lies:
1) I burned a hole in my forehead with a soldering gun.
True. I was ten years old and working in the radio bunk at sleepaway camp. Why they gave soldering irons and solder to ten-year-olds and said "play!" is beyond me. I didn't *mean* to do it -- the gun was heavy and I was uncoordinated. The radio counselor carried me, at a run, all the way to the infirmary. I don't actually remember it *hurting*, which is odd, because I'm a big wuss when it comes to pain. Burned a bunch of skin off in a big patch - but it healed up without a scar. Ah, youth.
2) I drove through four states to buy a single piece of costuming fabric.
False. Never happened. Nothing like it ever happened. But it sure *sounds* like something I'd do, doesn't it? (Kudos to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amilyn for deducing the answer because she knows I don't sew!)
3) I saw the same Broadway play 14 different times in a four-month period.
True. The show was The Mytsery of Edwin Drood, I was 17, and the audience got to vote on who the killer was and who wound up as lovers (Charles Dickens died before he finished the novel, so no one knows who killed poor Ned). There were, I believe, 64 possible endings in combinations. Every killer had a different confessional song, and every pair of lovers had a different set of dialog. I was terribly fannish about the show. I made buttons and everything (had a button maker at that point). I became so familiar at the stage door that cast members ask me to give notes to the stage manager, etc. They even let me into the theater before the show to stand center-stage in a Broadway house and sing.
Keep in mind, this was back when you could stand in line on a Saturday morning at the TKTS booth in Times Square and get tickets to a show for $14.50.
4) I ate dog biscuits as my primary snack food for a period of several months.
True It was during high school drama club years. Several of us carried Milk Bones around in little baggies. We were *different*. Hee. And they're not *bad*, per se, just dry and kinda tasteless. Like the food they give you at the childrens' zoo so the children can feed the animals. Not unlike Wasa bread, actually.
5) I mailed some of my skin to Jesse Helms.
True. I had a particularly bad sunburn -- when it began to peel, I got this really nice wide strip off my shin. So, of course, I had to *do* something with it. You can't waste something that cool. I put it in an envelope with a note -- "here's something for your lampshade collection" -- and mailed it to Senator Helms.
I am *certain* the F.B.I. has a file on me.
In other news - my DirecTV installers are here - their names are George and Lenny. I cracked up. They looked at one another with smirks on their faces and said, in unison, "Reader." I cracked up more. They say they gauge how much reading a customer does by whether or not their introduction gets a response.
I'm so amused.
1) I burned a hole in my forehead with a soldering gun.
True. I was ten years old and working in the radio bunk at sleepaway camp. Why they gave soldering irons and solder to ten-year-olds and said "play!" is beyond me. I didn't *mean* to do it -- the gun was heavy and I was uncoordinated. The radio counselor carried me, at a run, all the way to the infirmary. I don't actually remember it *hurting*, which is odd, because I'm a big wuss when it comes to pain. Burned a bunch of skin off in a big patch - but it healed up without a scar. Ah, youth.
2) I drove through four states to buy a single piece of costuming fabric.
False. Never happened. Nothing like it ever happened. But it sure *sounds* like something I'd do, doesn't it? (Kudos to
amilyn for deducing the answer because she knows I don't sew!)3) I saw the same Broadway play 14 different times in a four-month period.
True. The show was The Mytsery of Edwin Drood, I was 17, and the audience got to vote on who the killer was and who wound up as lovers (Charles Dickens died before he finished the novel, so no one knows who killed poor Ned). There were, I believe, 64 possible endings in combinations. Every killer had a different confessional song, and every pair of lovers had a different set of dialog. I was terribly fannish about the show. I made buttons and everything (had a button maker at that point). I became so familiar at the stage door that cast members ask me to give notes to the stage manager, etc. They even let me into the theater before the show to stand center-stage in a Broadway house and sing.
Keep in mind, this was back when you could stand in line on a Saturday morning at the TKTS booth in Times Square and get tickets to a show for $14.50.
4) I ate dog biscuits as my primary snack food for a period of several months.
True It was during high school drama club years. Several of us carried Milk Bones around in little baggies. We were *different*. Hee. And they're not *bad*, per se, just dry and kinda tasteless. Like the food they give you at the childrens' zoo so the children can feed the animals. Not unlike Wasa bread, actually.
5) I mailed some of my skin to Jesse Helms.
True. I had a particularly bad sunburn -- when it began to peel, I got this really nice wide strip off my shin. So, of course, I had to *do* something with it. You can't waste something that cool. I put it in an envelope with a note -- "here's something for your lampshade collection" -- and mailed it to Senator Helms.
I am *certain* the F.B.I. has a file on me.
In other news - my DirecTV installers are here - their names are George and Lenny. I cracked up. They looked at one another with smirks on their faces and said, in unison, "Reader." I cracked up more. They say they gauge how much reading a customer does by whether or not their introduction gets a response.
I'm so amused.
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Date: 2003-10-07 09:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 10:16 am (UTC)When they let us have more icons, I, too, will have froot. That should be soon!
Froot soon!
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Date: 2003-10-07 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 09:40 am (UTC)See, I was torn on the costuming fabric thing, too, since while I was pretty sure you didn't sew, I also thought, hey, you might have driven to get it for someone else who was making a costume for you. And it sooooo sounds like something you would do. *g*
I believe we've discussed the dog bisquit thing at some point. And I'm having Greatest American Hero flashbacks, as I tend to do when the subject comes up. That and thoughts of how we couldn't keep my brother out of the dog biscuits when he was little.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:17 am (UTC)And yeah, I wanted to craft a lie that really sounded like, oh, she would so do that.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:22 am (UTC)Ralph was cute (William Katt! Those CURLS!), but I was always, always a Bill girl. Early years of I Spy fannish indoctrination by my mother, perhaps, but mainly, he was an older, craggy, vaguely bitter, kind-of-beaten-up-by-life smart-ass. Ah, Bill...
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Date: 2003-10-07 09:52 am (UTC)When I was in high school, the local community theater (which was way way better than a town of that size deserved) did Drood. I was ushering a bunch at that point, so I saw it, I think twice. The second time, the cast got the audience to rig the vote, so that the brother and sister ended up as the lovers. I laughed so hard I cried.
Damn. Now I want to see Drood again.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:06 am (UTC)One night, George Rose flubbed a line and someone in a box seat yelled "Go back to Penzance!" The audience lost it. The cast lost it. George Rose just stared up at the guy, waited until the laughter died down, and said "I'd be as funny as you if I had a shirt like that."
I miss George Rose.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:13 am (UTC)The other night I saw it, the lovers were the sexton and ... and ... older woman, dominating type ... can't remember anything else about the character. I just remember the moment where she sweeps the sexton off his feet and spins round and round with him.
Strangely, I don't remember who the murderer was, either time, although the Neville-and-Helena night, the cast got the audience to pick someone equally perverse for the murderer.
Waah. Now I've gone into Drood withdrawal.
And your George Rose anecdote is priceless.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:19 am (UTC)Heeeee...
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Date: 2003-10-07 11:30 am (UTC)But, yes, Princess Puffer is definitely ringing the right bell.
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Date: 2003-10-07 11:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 10:01 am (UTC)Oh my fukking gawd.
You rock. You rock so hard that geology students have a whole chapter to you in their textbook. You rock so hard you put obsidian to SHAME.
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Date: 2003-10-07 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 01:26 pm (UTC)4) I ate dog biscuits as my primary snack food for a period of several months.
My dad once told me that when he was a kid and his dog didn't want to eat its food he tasted it to see why. He concluded that it must have been because it tasted bad. For all I know, he's right. *g*
I am *certain* the F.B.I. has a file on me.
Somewhere in the inner depths of the government files, there is an entire room with a sign saying, 'Top Secret Files concerning subversive activity of US citizens', containing files on you, TBQ, and most of the liberals on LJ. Heh.
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Date: 2003-10-07 04:24 pm (UTC)-J
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Date: 2003-10-08 03:42 am (UTC)That is possibly the coolest thing I've ever heard. I'm seriously impressed.